In the midst of all the extramartial scandals making the news these days, one wonders whether wedding favors from such celebrities’ ceremonies might not wind up as collector’s items of sorts on eBay soon! Oh, say what you will about our mean gossipy society but the fact of the matter is that it’s always interesting – inherently, and irresistably, so – to find out that someone’s been cheating all along!
Not just cheating in the sense of breaking matrionial vows, which is almost a fact of married life in itself (!), but cheating in the sense of pretending to be someone they’re not, pretending to be their image when they are nothing but human, all too human, after all. Thus, wouldn’t it be interesting to see, for instance, what Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Kennedy Shriver must have given their guests as wedding favors all those many happy years ago?
What a world of hope such gifts must have inspired! What a world of hope they must have promised! For such souvenirs are more than just polite offerings; they symbolize the hopeful couple’s dreams, their very vows, and in the same manner that scandal is interesting in itself so too is it curious to examine tchotchkes as the wedding favors of those fallen from favor and grace by their own indiscretions.
So what could “Ah-nuld” and Maria have imagined suitable for their guests? Or, to leave them alone finally, the Weiners, New York Congressman Anthony Weiner and his wife Huma Abedin (yes, she’s Muslim and he’s Jewish [hey, this only adds to the titillating quality of it all!], though they’re both Democrats)? Yes, Schwarzenegger has finally been left alone thanks to the peccadilloes of another politician – but who will save Weiner?
The more pressing question, of course, is that with all our smartest confidence men stumbling over sex, could monogamy finally die the death it deserves at long last?